Was a deep dark night when I took a left when I should’ve taken a right
And I ended up at a crossroads, not the Hall of Flame
Out of the shadows a figure deft, the very personification of theft
In a three piece suit says “This ain’t the usual name of the game
Got an offer here, you can’t refuse”, they roll out their scroll, quite bemused
And before I know it, my hand has already signed
“Most folks come to me to improve their sound, let’s try something еlse this time around”
So we join thе living 'n leave this joint behind
I’m back in the game and playing good, if my luck holds, 1, 2, 3, knock on wood
I’ll be MVP five times in a row
Them balls I throw are streakin’ hot, before too long everyone's forgot
That I was deader'n a doornail and now I'm showered in gold
A bit later I realize, it was as my friends theorized
My pitches are makin' a killin' in more ways than one
I tell Three-Piece that I want out, they says "I can't bring that about
Come back when you’ve stopped a few more of those runs”
Several more folks burnt to a crisp, nothing more left than a wisp
And I try to break that cursed pitchin’ arm
Just when I try to yank away, the rest of my body disobeys
Three-Piece, grinning, says “Don’t you do no harm”
Let me out! I don’t wanna do this no more! But I can’t seem to find a door
That don’t lead to that bedeviled pitcher’s mound
My feet walk on of their own accord, all my protests deftly ignored
My cries smothered afore I can make a sound
I try my very best to resist, but even then I can’t desist
From fielding a couple horsemen that doomsday
Then the last of my resolve is broken, when that confounded word is spoken
By the Ump: “PLAY.”
When I get off the field, there freshly sewn, a three-piece suit, all of my own
I put it on while felling a single tear
Since then not a tear’s been shed, I’ve won the rat race, miles ahead
And if we’re being honest here?
I’ve been dead all these years