Scaring's been my dream
Since I was nine years old
All of my efforts were moot; I'm simply too cute
Or so I was constantly told …
Conjuring a creep
Could turn my life around …
Something that's slimy and green, and frightfully mean
Like nothing you've seen in spooky's house of-
-Spooky's jump scare mansion
Time to trade the chills
For something more extreme …
Being adorable's deplorable-
I'd rather make somebody scream
Every room is armed
With terrors most macabre
Still I can fit a few more behind every door …
There's horrors galorе in spooky's house of-
…Spooky's jump scare mansion
Time to raisе the bar
And pull out all the stops
Specimen 1 wasn't great, and 2 was too late
They've all been embarrassing flops
What this mansion needs
Is bite to match its bark
Maybe a murderous deer could kindle some fear …
Prepare … for that thing there … to eat you rare …
…In spooky's jump scare mansion
Nothing seems to work
I'm tearing out my hair
Why is it so flippin' hard to lower her guard
And pull off an adequate scare?
This will be the one
To really seal the deal
People will quake and they'll cry, and cover their eyes
And probably die in spooky's very extra scary, legendary house …
…Of jump scares
…I mean
Spooky's jumpscare mansion …