Video Teal Vs Jesus de Akiocolonthree 2025 Lyrics Lyrics

Akiocolonthree - Teal Vs Jesus Lyrics

[Intro: Akio]
Epic Rap Battles of History!
Tealhollow1 versus Jesus Christ!
Begin!

[Verse 1: Teal]
Call me attention deficit but jeez this book's boring
& I’ve read the Morbius script in one sitting!
& with all these contradictions, sounds like to me..
God made a book that even he couldn’t read

Just three words: Slavery is bad
That’s too much for the thousand pages he had
Had to squeeze in that time Ezekiel ate shit?
Ezekiel 4:12, google it

Oogly-moogly, that thing is juicy!
But I’ll make that ass fine if you move me
Kinda like how you did at the last supper
It’s the last for a reason though, no wondеr

[Verse 2: Jesus]
Yo, I’m Jesus Christ
Like truth, & salvation
Ruler of thе heavens
& all of your nation
Day of wrath
Day of wrath
Day of wrath
Jesus Christ here to beat yo ant-fuckin’ ass

Walked on water
Turn that shit into wine
Wake up, Teal
It’s Jesus stream time

I’m the Alpha, Omega
Beginning, end
& in my name
Your bloodline finna end

[Verse 3: Teal]
Call me ant fucker
But.. um..
You’re right
Yeah

But I ain’t going down
Without a true fight!
Like Pokemon
Here’s my new type!
My bars so hot they’ll
Burn to the stake, so don’t cross me
Or you’ll be on one today
Nailed to the plank, oh, and you stank

Power of God?
Power of my tank!

(tank blast)

Now I’m back, how was that?
I’m deaf from the tank blast!
La la la, I can’t hear you!
But I still see your beard, ew!

Teal on the mic ‘cause I Hollow you out
If I had a book, would you follow me now?

[Verse 4: Jesus]
I heard you like Splatoon
Haven’t heard that in a while
One look at the folder
I’d call you a pedophile

For even scripture says
Let the children come to me
But not like that, man
You need some G-O-D
In gluttony, lust, sloth, you've built your wall
But I’ve come to offer redemption to all
Damn, those rhymes do be kinda tight though
Calling up my daddy gonna make this shit a real show

[Verse 5: God]
Ay, yo
It’s Big G on the mic
I’m comin’ in hot
I heard a rap battle so I joined in on the spot

I spent 6 days
On the world just for this shit
A bald, fat guy
That I’m here to diss

I bet this guy didn’t see
What I did with Noah
You should get a boat on the go
Before I show ya

You should think twice
Before battling divine power
Wow, this guy stinks
He should really take a shower

[Outro: Akio]
Who won? Who’s next?
Viewers don’t decide!

Epic Rap Battles of History!