(Kinky Friedman, Roger Friedman)
He was just an old-time preacher on the ol’ time radio
But they never learn to listen till they lived enough to know.
I used to walk out on that porch when mama’d turn the durn thing on
To the Gospel accordin’ to John.
Her mail-order prayer shawl fell across her silver hair,
Her sad eyes saw a better world when John came on the air.
Mama had someone to turn to — she was rockin’ all night long
To the Gospel accordin’ to John.
You see, she was a blind believer in John’s bible beatin’ game.
He’d heal ‘em, wheel ‘em, deal ‘em, bless ‘em in Heaven’s name.
Onward Christian soldiers, just a dollar and a half
Buys a photo of Jesus with an autograph.
And Jesus was a-watching from the table by the door
When that rockin’ chair grew silent and that shawl fell to the floor.
I walked out on that porch because I couldn“t find a prayer
When a kindly voice come a-cracklin’ ‘cross the air.
Said, “Folks, them righteous times are comin“, I say, they’re comin’ right on back.
You can hop that gospel train,†he said, “from both sides of the track.
Some people prayin’, keep a-listenin’, keep a-helpin’ out the show,
‘Cause ol’ John’s with you anywhere you go.â€
Now some folks claim the Scriptures are the only living truth,
Others swear by Peter, Paul or Matthew, Mark or Luke,
Ah but there ain’t a nicer passage just to sail a dream upon
Than the gospel accordin’ to John.
He was just an old-time preacher but he answered mama’s call,
His words may never save a soul, but his faith could heal us all.
‘Cause life's a sacred pilgrimage whatever trip you’re on
And that's the gospel accordin“ to John.
Recitation:
God bless you, John — you ol’ devil ...