I thought in the end I had found a home,
But it was all just an illusion.
I thought this was where I would not be alone,
Instead it plunged me deep into confusion.
I thought there was always something
To condone.
But in the end I saw it would not work out.
I considered those gloomy times to be gone,
But now they were back, so beyond a doubt.
I can feel all the barriers torn down,
And all my thoughts, they feel so light and free.
All the baggage that died with my last frown,
To make way for a second reality.
I can feel so much that has gone away,
With that darkness no more a part of me.
All the things I thought forced me to stay,
Now forgotten with a past reality.
I can feel it die away without sound,
Like a fading image of a past me,
With no place in the freedom I have found,
Living in this second reality.
But I need to leave my place below deck,
So long have I felt it is long past twelve.
When I need to turn and never look back,
To go where I can just be myself.
I know somewhere I skidded off the track,
But I just could not see clearly back then.
I need to leave behind all that slack,
And find out once more who I really am.