A letter to the patient's gp please, angela Song Lyrics
A letter to the patient's gp please, angela by Adam Kay Dear Dr Newland (new line)
Re Mrs Connor (comma)
We saw your patient Mrs Connor who presented in a coma
And we think that what was wrong is a subdural haemotoma (comma)
Her history's a mystery, her GCS was 9
And she was on ventilation, now she's stable (stop, new line)
She had a broken neck of femur, broken neck and broken nose
She's now in neck fixation (open brackets) brackets (brackets closed)
We noticed her colostomy, her temporary nefrostomy
We did a laparoscomy 'cause we thought that (apostrophe)
'd be necessary to elucidate any problems underlying
(Underline, uh... "underlying", please, Angela)
She had trouble with her colon 'cause they found a mass had grown on it
However (semicolon) it turned out to be benign
And yet they did a large resection from her flexure to her rectum
That excision's a decision I don't understand (new line)
She has dysdiadokokinesis (that's spelt d-y-s-d-i-a-d-o-k-o-k-i-n-e-s-i-s, comma)
I should also really mention that she went into retention
With a urinary infection and her leg stuck in extension
(Correction, "flexion" - sorry, Angela)
She has a cerebellar tremor (comma) possible rubella
Dyspepsia, dyslexia and fractured left patella (comma)
We learned that she was burned so bad she had to have a graft
Now we're very happy how it looks (full stop, new paragraph)
(Oh, Angela, can you add that she's on warfarin in case she has another mini-stroke... stroke, stroke)
We organised an ECG and BCG quite recently
Her TSH and FSH were not yet back today
But her ESR and CRP should reassure us
So we'll see her back here in my clinic
Yours sincerely, Adam Kay