SECRET NO.7
We feel just like
Two criminals
With unknown crimes
It’s not your fault
It’s always mine.
THE SPANISH DAGGER
Well stop cashing me in for a thin line
You’re right on track to know what it feels like to lose more than you’ve ever gained
Charges pending further investigation
You’ve got to expect that you’re falling from graces
Rehearsing all your persona will need when you’re front-page fighting (aim) for your dignity
I almost taste the the irony
How fiction replaces history
Use daunted glow to light your page
You say those feelings of doubt will never cut across your mouth
I know that Socrates and impurities are getting you down
You’ll take all they’ve got to get your fill
Your time is running out
You’re getting carried away because no one cares about your fame
I see the dagger in your name
Deny your roots for future rain, for future reign
Add one more kill to raise your worth
It’s so sad, cause it’s all the truth you have
Trade breath for gold
There’s no Armageddon when banks are there to relieve you
Why prevent yourself to take wealth from someone else
Dare to incite yourself when you’re your only foe
You’re carried away
Nothing’s real about your fame
I can see you drown in your own wake
So pale, so thin you’d float away
I see you trying so hard
So no one will ever take your place when you feel the dagger brush your face
Well… I deny myself what I can take when I can wait…and expect the same
Incriminated, your teeth still shine over the suffering
Deceiving trade, but the blade will shine.
CINEMA SPINE
Just a little bit of feeling in your stories and I’m ready rearing to go
Just a little bit of grieving in the words you relate and I’m alright
Crash land, insist, can’t exist on frailty
I always crash land, resist, exaggerated authority
Just a little bit of bleeding in your stories and I’d be really wanting to know- how they treat internal bleeding when they’re dying to be the future glow
All attacks come two by two
We’ve been gliding, so far just spinning our wheels
When all the bodies fall do they face the sky
To choose which star to make it home
When all the bodies fall is it finally quiet
Or does their last heartbeat echo till they’re gold
Crash land, resist, re-define a dire need
Crash land, in this unassuming reality
When all the bodies fall will they shun the light
And dust their feet on brittle stone
And all this time is wasted on an assembly line
To keep things plain enough to be sold
Tell me something to ease my worry, tell me something to calm me down
Tell me something to prove your story, a shot of sodium pentathol
Tell me something that’s not too late to deny…
Why would anybody treat your right
We already know how the actors feel.
MIRACLE MILE
I’m ready to blow
It’s not my fault
Don’t waste a four-leaf clover
Good happens to the owner
Just wait, when the leaves fall
They go below your faults
Now you’re just boring me to death
I’ve got a catacomb underneath the same place I lay my head
I’ve gotta bury them blind and then control what they find
I’m hanging on a thread
You know I’m ready to blow like I’ve told you I would
Out of nothing you find your own authority
Cleanse the water to send your holy blessings
I’m flying solo, I’m falling so low, where do we go
Out of nothing you find your own authority
Forbidden honor will go as far as atrophy
I’m flying solo
I’ll go
Now you’re just boring me to death
I’ve got a cataract focused on a shaky conscience at best (shaky guest)
I’ve got to make up my mind and try to make up some time
I’m hanging on a thread
You know I’m ready to blow, but not quite yet
You know I’m ready to fold, can’t count my cards yet
You know I’m ready to forget all we’ve been through
You know I’m ready for you
The shaken are desperate for new sounds on old ground
To bury reflections, infections from strong hands in weak glands
And when they’re awakened their vision will fade
It aint a bit of my fault
I’m gonna miss her.
TWENTY-FOUR MINUS EIGHTEEN
Confidence, coming clean, ambivalent to everything
24 minus 18, find a problem for everything
Don’t try to tell me what I mean
Don’t try to build yourself from the outside
Don’t try to make yourself; you’ll break every time
Don’t try to take your guilt and leave it behind
I carry mine
This lust will defeat us
I’ve learned too many times
You cuss when you see us
I’m taking all this in stride
I breathe too hard
My lungs are scarred
Have you tried to arrest yourself, arrested in time
Why change if you can’t find the time
Try to make the most of this or get left behind
Everything comes at a price
You trust us when you need us
Why do I feel there’s nothing inside
This crutch will relieve us
How can I fix this if I haven’t tried
I want to send you roses before your death is staged
When understanding violence, suspects know their fate
I want another reason why I never help myself
I waste my days regretting why
Celebrate, Semper fi, Sic Transit Gloria
If you don’t intend to go, never say that you want to
Stay home until you know, life’s short, but quite a ride
Got 8 months to go, a tightened grip will get you through
Don’t forget your goals, time is on your side…as long as you’re alive
You want some closure
You almost finished
But couldn’t fool your pride
Out of nothing, fake forgiveness
Never satisfied.
(What if I’d lied)
JAWS OF LIFE
I’m caught up in the jaws of life
What can heal can also tear you up inside
Writing down your own anthem
You don’t like the older one
I would stand at attention for less than minimum
Wage your own forgotten wars
Trade honor for canker sores
Ghostly pride with matching tours
You’re childish without the joy
I know that I said I would change
I know that I haven’t changed
A shoulder to lean on and then break/embrace
I’m barely breathing with my status day to day
Caught off guard by innocence
I cross my heart you influences pull you down
I swear it’s not the fault of mine or of the fault of anyone
So tell me what the guilt feels like
Are you swallowed in the jaws of life
When you strip people down you’ll see how they don’t need their cover
Is it clear and defined when fists from a simple conflict rise
And we turn into monsters we thought were once extinct.
(I could tell you things to shock you too)
GOODNIGHT QUIET NOISE
You’re full of spite and I know the reason why
Your alibi will never hold up to mine
Standing up when paralyzed
Pull the cloak over your eyes
It aint enough to be a mountain tall
Adding up, so name the price
Spent your lot to turn on a dime
Remove your mask to make a curtain call
Something’s calling me out to the boulevard
My thoughts need cages until the morning
When night it rises like the tide I feel I’m underneath I’m drowning in nothing at all
Make amends before you start the fight
Finding out why you should sleep at night
The blood will boil then solidify
You better see this, you won’t believe it
You can’t avoid the way they perceive you to be
They’re still behind you
They’re catching up to hold you to the back of the line.
SPLIT LIP ENVY
I’m just a token of your flirtation
Nothing more than a description
You’re just a guy, just a kid from a place where your philosophy is a catastrophe
Wake up split lip, you’re not that cool
Put your words in quotes then call yourself Vegan
Turn up, off, on your stupid song and sing
Words about the things you know and what you think you have to show her
As for myself, I think it’s obvious that I’m envious of you
Tell me now what you’ve got to look forward to
I hear they’re hiring at the dairy queen
Your whole story has been a disappointment
Your poetry is just a joke to me
Anything and everything about the affection
That you get when what you’ve got then
10 times 42, what’s that got to do with anything this song’s about
This jealousy I’ll do without
Where am I in this fairytale, this nightingale counters what I had in mind
and leaves me depressed and despised.
PARANOIA PAYS OFF
I’ll try to get your attention so I can clear my name
(I know you don’t care) because I’ve seen my picture on your dartboard
Bleed without pain
You’re always so violent…blah, blah…to spite your face
I’ll try to understand the words you yell at me
I’ve simply become someone you abhor
Have you discovered that you need to change your ways
When out in the open and sense of direction just fades away
You’ve never been sorry for a thing you’ve said
Have I told you that there’s nothing I can’t take from you
It’s just decent to wait a while before you go and make a fool of me
Break through with a crescent smile, got to plan ahead for broken teeth
It’s too late to defend yourself, I saw you laying down beside the things we’d never talk about
But go on believing
See, my paranoia is paying off.
I’ve been to/stayed at all the places I never felt I’d ever be calling home.
WHEN THE FEELING FADES
It aint over, but it feels like it is done
Getting older and dignified
I thought we could go out for a ride
Look at gravesites and pretend that we’re inside
Trade headstones for the night
Relax and just settle down
This hesitation will not be wasted
We can’t cross hidden lines
You know it helps like nothing else to taste the wind when you prepare to fly
“Olli-Olli-Oxen-Free†if you can’t find a victim then you’re hunting for me
So when the legs I have won’t move I’ve got a good place to hide
Under cover, I’m hating all the things you say but don’t mean
You’re an imposter and I’ve seen you changing sides
You’re a dictator and we all drink to your pride
We’ll get this right
We’ll leave all the talking for another night
It’s never kind, but we don’t mind
You can’t inspect a soul after it dies
Relax and just settle down
This hesitation is not complacent
(It’s clear) We can’t defend these lines
You know it helps like nothing else to lean through the windowsill within your mind
You give of yourself now
You think for yourself now
You cry by yourself now
Because you want to be let down
You’re a martyr with guest lists
You’ll never make a birthday wish
Well you can’t be without gifts
Because you need to be glorified
I can see why you’re mortified when the feeling fades
Time won’t ever be on your side
Are your feelings mine?
ABRACADAVER
So you see yourself holding the knife though it seems you’re more terrified than the faces you practice at night, so you can watch your tongue sympathize
We all know it’s wrong, but pretend that it’s/we’re innocent
Get out of the way
You say that you can’t move
We’ll drag you away to rot in your test tube
Congratulate me just when you need to
So captivating that I rot in place
Innocence fools you
It cuts you into pieces
You try to find a way to live or way to die
The decadence coerces you in zines & books & movies
I know I’m right this time
Get out of the way
You say that you can’t move and threaten to stay
Well, chalk up a new bruise
Like a thief in the night
So planned and deliberate
No use for a knife, if you can’t hide it…right?
You fall out of photographs and skin up your knees
Pulled under the undertow I’m so sorry you’re sorry
We all know it’s wrong
(Here we go)
We’ll all get along
Get out of the way
It’s clear I can’t trust you
You gamble with fate
A downfall for refuge
You reciprocate while plotting your next move
It’s not fair to complain from miles away…
LOW END OF LUXURY
Waiting…stalemate
Collect all your things for what they're worth
(You’ve got me leaving messages all night)
Wedding presents postmarked eternity
Will you return to the sender
You're paced too slow
The price of life
Save a collapsed lung
Take long distance shrugs
Leave a light on not a siren
So what's your story
Have you change that too
The ring slipped through your fingers, but still you can't let it go
I'm lost and found in some low end of luxury
(I’ll start my packing when you start to fall asleep)
It's just the same as it’s always been
I've lost my will for anything
It's not rational why you’ll go
Hear it in her voice
She regrets her choice
Giving up by nomination
Once more just say it softly
the ring slipped through your fingers, but still you can’t let go
Its hard to know what makes us fall apart
Its hard to want to stop it when it starts
Its hard to know what makes us fall apart
Scars jump at a chance to make a mark.
ARRIVE ALIVE
You try to make this last
But your candles burn too fast
Divided before you were born
Were you divided from your former you
You’ll never make it far
Well it’s time, so let go of my arm
You’re dying north of 40
You are destined for its solitude
Just pull the cover over your eyes
Or do what just feels good
It’s easy to be content about your life
Until it’s over
Why does this feel so good
Won’t somebody tell me while I’m alive
Why can’t I withstand my lust is so much stronger than my love for life
(It’s just fate to play)
Will you take over when I’m bleeding
Watch me squeeze out every pint I’ve got
It’s over
I can feel it
Well-rehearsed accidents prepare to stop
And I am trying
Know what you want before you start
I read your diary (to get to know you)
I skipped right to the end (I don’t feel guilty)
Empty pages (of untold stories)
For days you didn’t want to live (oh well, you’ve given up)
Too late to decide my fate or re-write autobiographies
And though I just woke up, I feel that I’m washed up
You’re always fake (you fear the worst)
Because you’ve been betrayed (so well rehearsed)
It’s your fault I can believe handshakes
I’ve gone far enough, that’s why I’m washed up
It’s over, I mean it
It’s over, I believe it now
I’m washed up.
AFTER ARGUMENTS
Deathbeds and guarded borders
Bedpans and doctors orders
Move on and leave the weak behind
Back stabs and painted on smiles
It’s easier to die admired
From here there is no turning back
Fall out of focus
Arguments end where you leave them
(What’s it take to be satisfied)
You battle your progress
Arguments fend for themselves
I’ve been shot down too many times
I guess I blame myself for targets I can’t defend
A Punishment will never fit a crime
Well should I go ahead with this, if I could go ahead at all
I’d be more confident if you’d admit you’re wrong
Do I need to chalk your lines
Victims precede the crime
You’re blaming yourself next time
We’ll take turns to cover the tracks that we leave behind
You use me to waste your time
Your grudges carry themselves just fine
Regrets, I take yours if you’ll take mine
A fair trade for lightning bolts, landmines or genocide
Unplug the phone, I need it quiet
All we have left is all we hold on to
I don’t care anymore, let’s put this aside
I’ll scream with my last breath, “I’m alrightâ€
All we have left is all we lay next to
White boys, start your own KKK
You look like you’re good for nothing anyway
Just like your parents before you
And just like your faceless neighborhood
I know that I’m the one, I feel just like Shakakahn
If it’s not for me, it can’t be right for anyone
I blame the cynics and the sun
So goodnight.
UNFIT
I’m just not fit to go on and neither is anyone
I’ve always needed a crowd just like an orphan
I don’t deserve this at all
Strike that
I deserve all I get
I could be walking on water and complain that my feet get wet
But I’d be fine if you’d let go
I've always known the places of those who run for cover
The camera angle i've taken is wrong
I'll let it be, I'll let it go...if you say so
You make me feel like I’m a salesman and somehow I’m caught with red hands
Tightrope over reason like a skeptic with plans
You look at me for your desire, but I’m using all I have
If you get off on your placement then get off my back.
Just say the words
Then fall into these arms
Just say the words