(moan)
this is a story I'll never forget
about the day my new car got hit
it caught me off guard cause it happened so quick
when I heard the crash I got mad as hell
cruising down the highway fast not slow
ninety miles an hour in my 5.0
people waving at me cause they know who I am
alpine stereo blasting a jam
put the top down said my girlfriend
then my damn hat blew off in the wind
I got kinda mad cause it's the hat I just bought
I shoulda put her out it was all her fault
day was friday date was ten
my girl was looking good on a strem
she smacked my hand when I put it on her rear
said hit me again and I'll break your wrist
that day I dressed all in white
takin' my girl to Palm Springs for the night
I was hoping I could find a short cut
I was tired plus I had a rash on my butt
there was this lady in a pinto coup
'bout 90 years old I could tell by the droop
driving off fast borderline insane
glass so thick couldn't stay in her lane
I swerved left then I swerved right
she was still tailgating me too damn tight
to the left lane I tried to switch
then you saw my blinker bitch
we both pulled off on the side of the road
I was hot ready to explode
the only thing stopping me from breaking her nose
is I was 21 and she was 90 years old
then the police came turn the lights off
the lady started cryin' and the cop got soft
the cop said ah it'll be ok
wrinkled old bag lookin' like a charpe
I said wait what's going on cap'
her car's fine my car is wrecked
then I saw what happened in the crash
her dentures came out her mouth and got stuck in the dash
you hit me I didn't hit you
stop holding your neck lady you can't sue
it's your fault you caused all this
you saw my blinker bitch
Wednesday October the fourth
that's when we got our day in court
that lady destroyed my case
she came in a wheelchair and a neck brace
I jumped up I said you must be jokin'
come on judge her neck ain't broken
well I'll be damned
wrinkled old bag started cryin' on the stand
the balif grabbed me slammed me on the ground
judge said boy you'd better calm down
aren't you one of them damn rap singers
yeah then I gave him the finger
judge held me in contempt of court
for givin' him the finger and things of that sort
anything to say before you're dismissed
just one you saw my blinker bitch