I'm trying to write but I keep getting sidetracked
I really like him and I think he has a nice laugh
And I'll drink his bath water, and I think he's hotter
And I'd hit it like Bing Crosby hit his daughter
I stalk him on the internet
He probably think I'm Jessie Slaughter
Even my father says to find another
I mean another, so I'll ask my mother
And maybe she will smother me in Blink 182
I don't steal lines, but this one is kinda true
"I tell 'em that I love 'em, but I never really do"
And I couldn't find a good way to say "I love you"
So fuck you and your stupid tattoos
You used to like girls, but you only like shoes
I hate the world, and I love your shampoo
And your soap, and your deodorant all over my pillow
You make my day, I whip my hair, I think I'm Willow
And I like you like Samantha like Nutella crepes
You think it's funny when you joke about rape
So we'll see if it's funny in the back of my Escape
That's a Ford, you're a whore, and I'll catch it on tape
Tell the police, I'll just tell 'em it's fake
Tell your mommy on her coffee break
I'll sit around picking at a coffee cake
Wait for you to text me, staring at the MacBook
I'm kind of cute, and I swear I'm not a bad cook
I'd hold your hand if you took me out
We made plans but you shook me out
And you made me think I'm bad-looking now
You're walking on my swag and I'm under cooked now
Instead of raw like I used to be
And if you 're using me I can use a bat on you
When you wear that hat, Stussy, I'll put the cat on you
Tit-for-tat on you, but I don't have tits
So you don't look at me in your Castles & Crooks tee
I say "Hi, " but you only stare crookedly, fuck