Before I begin
Excuse me while I drop
A bountiful donation into the swear jar
Because in these next few moments
I'm taking you for everything you are
As you took me for everything that I was
Everything that I could have been
You took me for granted
Countless nights, I counted the hours
And the reasons of my being
With your busted ass
Was I that desperate
That I would allow for you to treat me
As the rag tucked under your mattress?
Was I that bored
That I would see your outbursts
As entertainment for the time being?
You thought that shit was cute!
I begged for negligence
While you begged to eat my pussy
But I wanted you to starve!
I fiened for your malnourishment
Why should I have to prepare such a feast
For the nigga who constantly
Force-fed me bullshit?
I mean, it's not like
I was missing out on anything
But could you say
The same for yourself?
I figured
Love was written on my sleeve
But it turns out I was just
Lazy and in need of a good bath
In order to rinse myself of the sins
That you had commited against me
You stained my favourite shirt
They asked me when I'll
Stop writing about you
And I tell them to mind their
Goddamn business
Because those motherfuckers
Were not the ones who
Were barricaded
Into a writer's block!
I beat down those walls
Like you beat down my encouragement
And I renovated them into a vault
In which I keep our jackal hidden
She scratches at the crack of the door
Begging to be released
But I keep that key tucked
Under my tongue
For if she were to get loose
I'd get locked up
And that is not the type of shit that
I am trying to deal with right now
I had plenty of chances
Where I could have taken your life
Is what I'm saying
Whether it had been jail time
Or self defense
Your life could have been mine
Either way
I type this as I smirk
And smoke, and sip on this good shit
I should have drained you for every drop!
I should have made you drain
Then made you drop!
I should have called the fucking cops
Or my cousins... whatever
But, no matter how many times you did me wrong
I did you right and I never left your side
Except for that one night
And that one guy that I never told you about
But, if you hear this
You know the rest
There's no need to type it out
You made me feel alone
So he sat me on his throne
And he knew about you
But he did not care
I fucked the shit out of that man
That one night stand
Hoping that you would feel it
And I hated the both of you after I was done
I guess that one fuck was
The one that I couldn't push myself
To give to you
And that's when I knew
I was over it
You meant nothing to me
You didn't even turn me on anymore
I was dry
Like your mouth on those pill-paraded nights
And you made me sick to my stomach
You cried because I wouldn't kiss you
And I was overcome with satisfaction
I had you kissing my feet
Running my bath
And drenching my chest
With your generic salt water
None of this was real
It had to have been some sort of bad trip
An inception type twilight zone mirage
But it's over now and you're missing me
And I'm in love with him unconditionally
Which surprises me
Because I thought
You fucked it up for everybody!
But in reality
You just brought me
To the one that I'm supposed to be with
So thank you for the experience
I hope you see me
And I hope you hate me