You were in a plane crash
Now there's a story that you want to rehash
How you grew up without a mother
Until your father went and found another
She was cruel and hurt you
But you never let your courage desert you
And eventually you cornered her upstairs
And you told her to her face
You are the reason I can't be myself
And everything I do seems weird
You are the reason I had no childhood
And why I can't stop stealing all those cars
It began at playgroup
When you fed your best friend some mudsoup
They called the counsellor so you could be treated
But they eventually retired defeated
And the babysitter
Who had thing for Gary Glitter
Came to realise that working evenings
Wasn't what he had in mind
You are the reason that I am no good
And I've had trouble with rules
You are the reason I'm such a rebel
And why I can't stop stealing all those cars
What you need is closure
And a little less obscene exposure
But the papers keep throwing you money
And everybody wears less when it's sunny
It's a shame you're leaving
And it's only yourself you're deceiving
Maybe one day you'll pay back what you owe me
And maybe pigs will fly
On to your next victim
Working through the phonebook till you find him
There won't be time to form a serious friendship
Before you send him off on his first trip
And you're always blameless
Or at least you're staying safely nameless
It's all because of where you started
Somebody else's mess
Words and music by Daniel Earwicker