Video Wait Wait Dont Kill Me Part One de Alan Schmuckler 2025 Lyrics Lyrics

Alan Schmuckler - Wait Wait Dont Kill Me Part One Lyrics

[NARRATOR]
Part One - A Murder in Baltimore

[NARRATOR]
Baltimore. 1998. A convenience store.

[MALE VOICE]
Are you trying to shoplift ramen noodles, Sarah Koenig?

[SARAH]
What...? Um...

[FEMALE VOICE]
You hear that sound?

[SARAH]
No--

[FEMALE VOICE]
Splash! That's rock bottom.

[FEMALE VOICE]
Just a poor reporter for the Baltimore Sun who writes things nobody reads!

[VOICES]
You're pathetic, Sarah Koenig!
[SARAH]
Shut up, Voices, shut up!

[MALE VOICE]
It doesn't have to be like this, Sarah!

[FEMALE VOICE]
You could afford things, Sarah! Like chicken!

[FEMALE VOICE]
And goat cheeses!

[VOICES]
And your dreams!

[MALE VOICE]
If you listen to us!

[SARAH]
What do you mean?

[FEMALE VOICE]
Tell us about your dreams, Sarah!

[SARAH]
My dream is to... eat three meals a day!
[VOICES]
Think bigger!

[MALE VOICE]
We already know the answer, Sarah Koenig!

[FEMALE VOICE]
We just need you to say it!

[FEMALE VOICE]
We can help you sooo hard!

[FEMALE VOICE]
Sarah, Sarah Koenig, Sarah...

[FEMALE VOICE]
Hi there! It's your friendly voices!

[MALE VOICE]
Golly! We just wanna help you!

[FEMALE VOICE]
Really! Boy, we like you, Sarah!

[FEMALE VOICE]
Smiles! We're excited for you!
[MALE VOICE]
Easy! All you have to do is

[VOICES]
Do as we say!

[SARAH]
What I want...
What I really want...
What nobody knows...
What I never mention...
But what I'd love...
Is to be...
A famous journalist.

I interview everybody...
They share their secrets...
I rise to acclaim...
I gain recognition...
My reach is global...
I shape conversations...
I make it my world.

[SARAH]
And I finally, finally meet Ira...

[VOICES]
Ira...

[SARAH]
The brilliant Ira Glass.

Out of all radio hosts, I love Ira...

[VOICES]
Ira...

[SARAH]
But I'm a loser; a mess,
Just a girl in distress
Who, from time to time, hears voices.

[FEMALE VOICE]
Sarah. Who could blame you, Sarah?

[FEMALE VOICE]
Stressed out. It's all over for you.

[MALE VOICE]
Manic. Having nightmares, Sarah.

[FEMALE VOICE]
Poor girl, with a pale complexion.

[FEMALE VOICE]
Listen! Make us proud of you, and

[MALE VOICE]
Smile! Take a deeper breath, and

[VOICES]
Do as we say.

[MALE VOICE]
How badly do you want to be a journalist, Sarah Koenig?

[FEMALE VOICE]
How badly do you wanna taste success?

[FEMALE VOICE]
How badly do you wanna meet Ira Glass and touch his Ira glasses?

[VOICES]
His hypnotic voice calls to you, Sarah!
Sensitive like a woman's!
Curious like a girl's!
With the undeniable masculine ooze of a sexually confident Bar Mitzvah boy!

[SARAH]
Stop it! Stop it, stop it, leave me alone!

[VOICES]
Sarah, if we're honest with you,
Failure, doesn't really suit you,
Hunger, how embarrassing a,
Ramen, packet underneath your
T-shirt, do you feel us, Sarah?
Shameful, you can end it if you
Do as we say!

[SARAH]
God, go away...!

[VOICES]
Sarah, you are making us look

[SARAH]
What?

[VOICES]
Foolish. We don't offer this like

[SARAH]
What?

[VOICES]
Candy. Stop your stalling, Sarah,

[SARAH]
Why?!

[VOICES]
Take a, risk and know it's worth it!

[SARAH]
No!

[VOICES]
Do it! Do it, do it, do it!
Please, Jesus Christ, put the ramen back!
Get your purse and your life on track,
Otherwise, you'll be just a hack!

Move us to the foreground,
Feel us gaining more ground,
Say goodbye to your rationales,
Say hello to your brand new pals!

Give us the control of,
Let us make you whole, love,
Every dream's gonna come to pass,
You could even work for Ira Glass...

[SARAH]
Ira Glass...

[VOICES]
Ira Glass.

[SARAH]
Wow...

[VOICES]
Ira Glass.

[SARAH]
Now...
What do I have to do?

[VOICES]
Move us to the foreground,
Ira Glass
Feel us gaining more ground,
Ira Glass
Say goodbye to your rationales,
Ira Glass
Say hello to your brand new pals
Ira Glass

Let us take the pain, love,
Ira Glass
Let us make you sane, love,
Ira Glass
Everything's gonna come to pass,
You could even work for Ira Glass.

[SARAH]
Ira Glass.

[SARAH and VOICES]
Ira Glass, Ira Glass, Ira Glass, Ira Glass...

[NARRATOR]
Offices of This American Life. 2014. The present.

[EMPLOYEE]
Offices of This American Life, how may I help you...?

[MALE CO-WORKER]
Sarah! Knock, knock, sorry to bother, but, um, Ira wanted me to ask you... do you know something about a murder in Baltimore?

[SARAH]
What did you say?

[SARAH'S CO-WORKER]
A murder, in Baltimore. Ira said you would know what I'm talking about? And that I should ask you about it?

[SARAH}
Oh-- oh! I-- I don't know what he's talking about.

[MALE CO-WORKER]
Oh. Okay. I guess I could ask him, but... he's in one of his moods. And there's an empty bottle of Excedrin on his desk, and there's a fist-sized hole in the wall next to the water cooler, and he brought his pit bull to work, so maybe just... pretend I asked you?

[PINEY]
Grrr...! Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!

[MALE CO-WORKER]
AUUOOOHHHOHOHoh, heeey, Ira, I didn't see you there!

[PINEY]
Grrr...

[IRA]
Sit!
Stay!
Good girl, Piney! Here, have some sea otter!

[PINEY]
(She munches ferociously on the meat)

[MALE CO-WORKER]
Did you say sea otter?

[IRA]
Sarah, it's an honor seeing
You here, hard at work for me, I'm
Humbled. You are so impressive.
Kudos! We're so lucky, Sarah!
Hiring, someone so determined,
Gosh, could it be, all those years ago?
Time with you sure does not go slow,
Listen, here's what you need to know.

I've been, up for thirty hours,
Stymied, out of stories, Sarah!
We're on, episode 530!
How much, more can one man narrate?
Help me! You can do it, Sarah!
Please, be a pal, open up my doors,
Finding tales feels like doing chores,
And you know I'm a fan of yours...

[SARAH]
So. You need a story idea?

[IRA]
No, nonono, I've got one! See, you'd think, after 530 episodes, there'd be no ideas left in the universe, but God help me, there's one more!

It came to me late last night when I was feeding my dog, Piney, white rhino meat-- she has to eat a new kind of meat each week or she dies. Me? I've got hay fever. Piney's allergic to tedium. We've all got our shit.

[PINEY]
Ruff, ruff!

[IRA]
That's right, enjoy that tasty sea puppy! Anyway, she was making a big, bloody mess of that rhino, and that made me think... we should do a show, about... murder. And then I remembered, your murder, Sarah! The murder you wrote about in those old Baltimore Sun articles. The ones I read when I hired you...

[MALE CO-WORKER]
Wait a second, what articles?

[MALE CO-WORKER WHO SOUNDS LIKE KERMIT THE FROG]
Yeah, what happened in Baltimore?

[IRA]
Tell 'em, Koenig! It's your story. You were there.

[SARAH]
O-Oh, I don't even know if I still remember all the details--

[IRA]
Suuure you do! How could you forget? How could anyone?

[MALE CO-WORKER]
C'mon, Sarah, tell us!

[MALE CO-WORKER WHO SOUNDS LIKE KERMIT THE FROG]
Please?

[SARAH]
Well... I'll try.

I was a young reporter, and broke in Baltimore,
I tried to cope, and lived on hope, and ramen from the store.
I needed one big story. A scoop to make my mark.
I looked, and then I found one... in a place called Leakin Park.

Where were you
Fifteen years ago?
Can you see yourself
Through all the ice and snow?
Thoughts get blurry, memories murky,
Farther back you wander...

There was once a kid
Who killed his girlfriend dead.
Dropped her in the woods,
His name's Adnan Syed.

[ADNAN]
High school senior, prom prince, track star...

[HAE]
Swears he did not do it.

[SARAH, ADNAN, HAE]
And they would study hard, and they were holding hands,
And they were young and so naive and so deluded.

[SARAH]
He says he's innocent. Says no one understands.

[IRA]
Although, you wonder, if he didn't do it, who did?

It was such a fascinating crime. So many... interesting suspects! Like Jay, his stoner rebel friend.

[JAY]
'Sup.

[IRA]
Or the alcoholic school janitor who finds the body. He a reputation for getting drunk and streaking naked around town. And the cops asked him what kind of alcohol he drinks, and he says beer--

[JANITOR]
-- and only beer!

[IRA]
But if he had said "brandy," he would have been screwed, because they found a brandy bottle near the shallow grave...

[CO-WORKERS]
Oooooh...!

[IRA]
So. You think Adnan did it?

[SARAH]
I dunno. You tell me.

[NARRATOR]
Baltimore. 1998. Adnan Syed's house.

[JAY]
'Suuup.

[ADNAN]
So, Jay. What's our alibi? We gotta be on the same page!

[JAY]
Yo. Adnan. We good. No one's gonna find out.

[ADNAN]
Good.
...
Because if my mom finds out I'm at that dance, she's gonna ground me, like, forever.

[JAY]
No worries. Tell her you're at my place typin' for finals.

[SARAH]
He was an honor roll student. Volunteer EMT. He was on the football team. He was a star runner on the track team. He was the homecoming king! He led prayers at the mosque. Everybody knew Adnan to be somebody who was going to do something really big.

[ADNAN]
Me and my best friend had a little competition
About who could get the prettiest prom date that year.
Someone said I should go ask Hae,
So one day after sports practice, I walked up to her to say

I don't wanna dance with anyone else but you, dear.
I don't wanna dance with anyone else but you.
You could take a chance with anyone else, it's true, dear,
But ain't nobody else gonna be a hair near as true to you.

[STUDENTS]
Aww! Oooh, Adnan!

[SARAH]
If you had to bookend Hae and Adnan's six month relationship, you'd put a school dance right at the beginning, and a flat tire right at the end. The dance was Junior Prom.

[ADNAN]
Day of the prom, and I'm stuck at home, because
My mom won't let me go, 'cause I'm Muslim.

[JAY]
I was at the door with a joint and a tux, I said
I just spent beaucoup bucks, because your prom night is in flux! Now,
I'm gonna bust you out.

[ADNAN'S MOM]
Adnan!

[JAY]
I'm gonna bust you out.

[ADNAN'S MOM]
What's going on down there?

[JAY]
Jay has got a lot of clout,

[ADNAN'S MOM]
Hello?!

[JAY]
He's gonna bust you out.

[ADNAN]
Just a second, mom!

[ADNAN, JAY]
You're gonna bust me out.
I'm gonna bust you out.

[ADNAN]
I'm goin' to Jay's!

[ADNAN, JAY]
You're gonna bust me out.
I'm gonna bust you out.

[ADNAN]
We're gonna study for something!

[JAY]
Don't sit around and pout,

[ADNAN]
I'm a good Muslim!

[ADNAN, JAY]
You're gonna bust me out.
I'm gonna bust you out.

[NARRATOR]
Woodlawn High School Junior Prom!

[STUDENTS]
Woo!

[SARAH]
Stephanie was one of Adnan's best friends, and also, Jay's girlfriend.

[STEPHANIE]
Hey, that's a fake ID!

[HAE]
Shh, Stephanie!

[STEPHANIE]
Wow, what a weird name, gee...

[HAE]
I kinda like it, though.

[STEPHANIE]
Hey, you can buy Stoli®!

[HAE]
Ugh, maybe afterwards!

[STEPHANIE]
Hae's got a fake ID!

[HAE]
Shush, Stephanie!

[JAY]
Look, it's your girlfriend, Hae.

[ADNAN]
Be cool, man!

[JAY]
Dude, you should go say hey!

[ADNAN]
Yo, I'm serious!
I dunno what I would say.

[STUDENTS]
Uhh,
Go say hello to Hae!

[JAY]
Duh.

[ADNAN]
Hey.

[HAE]
Hey.

[ADNAN]
Thought I wouldn't make it, but I did...

[HAE]
Yay.

[ADNAN]
Way.

[HAE]
Let's go dance I'm really excited...

[STEPHANIE]
Oooh, Adnan!

[STUDENTS]
Oooh, Adnan!

Adnan, you're so lucky, 'cause Stephanie is here,
She's the prom princess, and babe, you're the prom prince.

[ADNAN]
I am!

[STUDENTS]
Now you have to dance with her and lovey-dove all night,

[JAY]
Yeah, go for it, I know we're cool, my man Adnan's all right!

[STEPHANIE]
Dadadada da da dadadada, da da da...
Let's dance.

[ADNAN]
Sure.

[SARAH]
Adnan had a crown, and a prom princess, to boot,
And he thought that she was cute, but somethin' wasn't okay.

[SARAH, ADNAN]
Ten seconds later, he ditched the prom princess,
Ten seconds later, I ditched the prom princess,

[STEPHANIE]
What?!

[SARAH, ADNAN]
He walked right up to Hae Min Lee, and called out clear as day:
I walked right up to Hae Min Lee, and called out clear as day:

[ADNAN]
I don't wanna dance with anyone else but you, dear.
I don't wanna dance with anyone else but you.

[ADNAN, HAE]
You could take a chance with anyone else, it's true, dear,
But ain't nobody else gonna be anywhere near as true to you.

[HAE]
Oooh, Adnan...

[NARRATOR]
Several months later.

[OFFICER]
Alright, son, have a seat. Now, Jay, I want you to tell the Lieutenant what you just told me...

[JAY]
Well, a couple of months after prom, he shows up at my house, says he want's to go to Best Buy--

[OFFICER]
Sorry, could you speak into the mic?

[JAY]
He's going to Best Buy. He wants to take my car.
I said "okay, my guy." Take it, but don't go far.
Next thing I know, he's back. Glows with a kind of pride.
Opens the trunk, and ack! Shows me that Hae's inside.

Question me all you like. I'll let the facts unfurl.
Here, lemme use your mic; I know he killed that girl.

[MALE CO-WORKER]
Hm, wow, that's really interesting.

[MALE CO-WORKER WHO SOUNDS LIKE KERMIT THE FROG]
Whoa, that happened in Baltimore? Hm. Fascinating.

[IRA]
Sarah, good for you!
Oh, I had no idea!
Sarah, this is big!
Like, bigger than Ikea!

[SARAH]
I mean. It's just your average, run-of-the-mill murder...

[IRA]
You must tell this gruesome story,
Every single detail.

You could win awards,
For ingenuity!
Maybe even this:
The noble Peabody!

[CO-WORKERS]
Peabody, Peabody, Peabody!

[ALL EXCEPT SARAH]
Go ask questions, draw conclusions,
You could even solve it.

[SARAH]
I could s-solve it?

[ALL EXCEPT SARAH]
What if he's innocent? What if the killer's free?
What if he's out there, somewhere, basking in his glory?
Uncover every clue. Girl, we believe in you!
You do the best you do, go tell the world your story...

[IRA]
Make me proud, Sarah. Find out who did it.

[SARAH]
Oh, God. What have I done?

[NARRATOR]
Baltimore. 1998. A convenience store.

[MALE VOICE]
That's right, Sarah. Put the ramen back on the shelf.

[FEMALE VOICE]
We'll help you meet Ira Glass!

[FEMALE VOICE]
Today, you're just a beat reporter for the Baltimore Sun, but tomorrow, you could be co-narrating happy-sad stories with the bad boy of publicly subsidized radio!

[MALE VOICE]
What you need is a scoop, Sarah! A big headline to make your career!

[FEMALE VOICE]
A scandal! Or a bank robbery!

[FEMALE VOICE]
Or...! A murder.

[VOICES]
(gasp in unison) Yes...! A murder...!

[SARAH]
Shhh! Shut up, Voices, shut up!

[HAE]
I know! It was like... a fairy tale, wasn't it?

[STEPHANIE]
Yeah, you guys look good together. Adnan's the sweetest. I mean... until he breaks your heart.

[HAE]
Prom prince, track star, handsome, loyal...
He would never hurt me.

[SALESCLERK]
Stoli®, huh? Lemme see some ID?

[HAE]
Here ya go.

[SALESCLERK]
You don't look Irish, but okey-doke! Have a good one. Next customer, please! ... Is that all for you, ma'am, just the ramen?

[SARAH]
Uh... sorry?

[SALESCLERK]
I said, just the ramen for ya?

[SARAH]
Actually, you know what? I'll have a bottle of brandy, too.