A couple thousand miles
Turns out was not enough
To learn to let things go
The list of all I'd buried
So deep that I forgot
Was longer than I'd known
I'd convinced myself that I was fine
Turns out that I'm a mess
And hurting those that tried to love in spite
Has become one of the things that I do best
And I could blame my parents if that would help at all
God knows they did their share
Some days I'm still angry and frustrated but
Most the time I'm much too tired to care
My father was an asshole and a liar
And I'm terrified that's what I'll become
And so I'll say "I'm sorry" way too much
For all the convoluted things I've done
And I could swear I tried really hard
But I'm not sure if that's entirely true
'Cause no amount of therapy could solve
The motives behind anything I do
Man, it sounds so nice to finally heal
But I don't know where to start
You might think I'm too hard on myself
But if you knew half the shit that's in my heart
A couple thousand miles
Turns out not even close
To outrun where I'm from
The bruises left encircling my throat
Were thicker than the arsenic in my blood
Wasted time, I prayed too fucking hard
But never heard a thing
When all I've felt is silence for so long
It's hard to know for sure what I believe