[Chorus: Aaron Fraser-Nash & Lauren Amour]
Take these demons back, we can't hold them
They're destroying our hell
We found Satan lyin' in a pool of his blood
When the monster gripped me, then he yelled
"Hey, gimme that mic!"
[Verse 1: Aaron Fraser-Nash]
It's Friday The 13th, I can't wait
There's no better way to send the kids to sleep
Five minutes played, and no one hears a peep
They're in Neverland now with a different P
I bore easily watching Voorhees tease teens
Had a couple weapons, then it's all machete
Get creative with your kills, you got 12 damn films
Who's watching this crap?
Well it's not me
If you think Friday The 13th is scary, try goin' to work on a Monday morning
You need some new shoes, you look really tatty
These crocs should match with the mask you're wearing
Don't you run after people? You're so damn lazy
Nobody's screaming stop "Jason" me?
I know they used to run though, 'cause your mom got her top off
You witnessed it and watched, I'm surprised you were so soft
[Chorus: Aaron Fraser-Nash & Lauren Amour]
Take these demons back, we can't hold them
They're destroying our hell
We found Satan lyin' in a pool of his blood
When the monster gripped me, then he yelled
"Where's mom?"
[Verse 2: Aaron Fraser-Nash]
Wow, you're one hell of an enemy
The only way to beat you is drink some coffee?
Are you proud to be in the same league as Cosby?
Wait 'til they're asleep, then do them dirty?
I've killed hundreds, my evil broke the dial
But, even I'm sickened battling a pedophile
The only thing grosser than what gets you off
Is that red and green sweater you never take off
Your films are like taking pills with liquor
And I don't wanna be Jack the Tripper
My films might leech off the lake and suck ass
But the fear at these summer camps will always last
Your puns don't scare 'em, they're freaked by what they see
'Cause for a burnt ball sack man, damn, you're ugly
In fact, here's my mask, you need it more than me
And I'm a deformed rotten corpsed zombie
[Chorus: Aaron Fraser-Nash & Lauren Amour]
Take these demons back, we can't hold them
They're destroying our hell
We found Satan lyin' in a pool of his blood
When the monster gripped me, then he yelled
"Bring me J!"
[Verse 3: Aaron Fraser-Nash]
Hey Jason, pull my finger
It Smells Like Teen Spirit, you must hate Nirvana
No words?
Just Cha cha cha's?
You got a stammer?
When arrested, your sentence will last forever
But that's just the life of a cereal killer
You hear the snap crackle pop, then disappear
Your films are perfect on a date to seal the deal
They're so boring I always get to Netflix and kill
Freddy, I'll be the most iconic on screen
For more terrifying centuries
They yell "Voorhees, a jolly good fellow"
"Voorhees, a jolly good fellow"
I set trends, wore a mask before it was COVID popular
I got more kills than any other horror character
You rely solely on the look of your glove
Your nun momcould have done with some when she made love
[Chorus: Aaron Fraser-Nash & Lauren Amour]
Take these demons back, we can't hold them
They're destroying our hell
We found Satan lyin' in a pool of his blood
When the monster gripped me, then he yelled
"Who won?"