I thought I knew where I was going
but there are no signposts in the sea
turns out I’m no wanderer
I’m just a lost traveler
I need your hand to guide me out of anything
and that’s why I need to leave you
as long as I’m able to watch myself in your brown irises
I’ll know that I’m safe
because behind those muddy eyes is something fertile—
steady and firm
and I need to watch myself in eyes that are
as clouded as the life I want for myself— in blue
eyes that are yеt to understand themselvеs
confused, young
by the ocean
question-less
and free
you know I don’t need reasons
my eyes are content with what we’ve been given
I’ve never had to stare long enough
to lose myself in heaven
yet I still need to watch myself in eyes that are willing to watch me fail
and I just can’t see myself being able to do that when you’re so close to me—
when I fall, you’ll always have my back
and that’s why I need to leave you